Over
by suspensegirl
Summary: Angsty CB based on 3x07 promo-no spoilers. B's thoughts after Chuck tells her she's now uninvited to his club opening. ONESHOT


A/N: I'm feeling angsty and miserable and the promo isn't making me feel any better. Either B does another awful thing pushing Chuck even farther away, or Chuck does something awful to her for what she did to him. Regardless it's just gonna keep getting worse and worse, even if it is only for another episode or so. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. This is just a really short snippet from B's POV for the next episode, right after he told her she was no longer invited to his club opening. *gulp* CB? *sigh*

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She wasn't invited.

Blair Waldorf wasn't invited to something.

_But it wasn't just that, _she told herself. _It was more than that. She knew it was more than that. She didn't have to try and convince herself of anything. This was it. This was the end, and she felt she had never done anything worse in the entire world._

_Not sleeping with Jack, not getting back with Nate, not even the worst thoughts she could have ever dreamed up._

_She could only imagine what this was doing to him, what it was going to continue to do to him. And she wanted to blame him for everything, but all she ended up doing was blaming herself._

Chuck disinvited her.

He had been trying for weeks, months it seems to get some sort of business deal, and he had—finally, with that hotel of his. Now he was opening a club. In the hotel or in some other place she couldn't recall, but he was finally going somewhere, doing something he really wanted to do, and she had always thought she would be by his side when it happened.

But she wasn't.

She was _disinvited_.

_He didn't trust her anymore, he didn't respect her, because he thought she didn't trust or respect him._

_It was all over. _

Well, she knew it wasn't _all_ over. She knew this wasn't the _end of them, truly_. But it seemed like it. _Oh God did it seem like it_. Every waking moment when she was without him she just ended up thinking what a _horrible girlfriend and friend and everything in between_ she had been to him for that stupid speech that she hadn't even ended up doing in the end.

Sigh.

_This fight felt like it was lasting forever._

Lily had said all he would need to do was lick his wounds and that she could talk to him the next morning and everything would be fine.

_Those weren't her exact words of course, but they were close enough. _

_Would he ever stop being mad at her? Would he ever relent and decide that she had apologized and he did still love her, so that was enough?_

She didn't know, but it seemed impossible that that could ever be enough.

She would spend the day without him, the week without him, a freaking holiday—_Halloween_—without him. _And without him, what did she have really? None of the scandal she had created had been worth it, even if she had given the speech, it wouldn't have—she wouldn't have—_

It was over.

Her mind was spinning.

She didn't know what to do or where to go and all she could think about was Chuck. She knew this was all her fault and even if he _did_ forgive her soon enough, it would never be as soon as she needed it to be. And _he would never fully—_

Well, she didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about any of this and how she was going to live with herself until he decided she was worthy of him again. Maybe he would decide _she_ didn't _deserve him_ because of what had happened. Maybe that _he couldn't handle her—didn't really know her?_

Everything was just so complicated, and yet completely simple.

Blair Waldorf had screwed up with Chuck Bass. It had been _him_ who had been so afraid of messing the beautiful thing that they had going—he feared he would be the one to tear it all apart and send it crashing to the ground.

But it _wasn't him_, it was _her_.

It was an afterthought, but she knew she could've gone to him with her situation and he would have been more than happy to supply any request she needed. She wouldn't have had to manipulate him then. They would be in a _much_ better place, and maybe she would have even gotten to do the speech.

_Remember I'm Chuck Bass, and I love you._

Well, maybe he did love her but he _despised_ her right _now_. He was achieving his _first real victory_ as a businessman, his first proud achievement, and he _didn't want her there_. He _didn't want her anywhere near him_. Because, for the moment at least, _what she had done was unforgivable_.

She didn't _trust_ him, she didn't _respect_ him, and he _refused to believe otherwise_.

As long as that was the sole, serious belief in the mind of Chuck Bass, she was an _insect_. Something that he didn't want to touch and almost wanted _it_ to be slaughtered.

Blair Waldorf was _not_ coming near Chuck Bass.

He didn't want her around when he _achieved things_ she would have been _proud of him_ for.

_Because how was he to know she even respected him enough to be proud of him in the first place? Why would he want someone like that around him?_

He _wouldn't_ want her around _period_, for _anything_.

Tears. Lots of them. They flooded out of her eyes and against her pale, dry skin.

"I'm losing him…" she sniffled, and a huge gasp escaped her as the meaning of those words engulfed the pounding of her heart.

_I'm losing him. I'm losing him. I'm losing him._

_He doesn't want me._

_I'm losing him._

_We're done._

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A/N: Okay, I know. SUPER depressing. *sigh* But I'M super depressed at the moment. The episode killed me, and somehow I knew I'd be writing a one-shot on it. Next week's promo just looks awful, how he pushes her aside. I mean, I'm sure they'll fix this soon, since the writers have promised us they'll be a couple and stay a couple this season, but…*sigh* I just want to cry and huddle into a corner and never do another thing until they've figured anything out. This was B's POV based on the promo following that harsh statement Chuck made to her. No spoilers included.


End file.
